Here's a truly "charming" photo of the ex...

And no, this isn't representative of MY photographic skills... the kid took the picture on Dad's cell phone, and then emailed it to me. (Jeez, these kids today - I couldn't even type when I was 8)

Just noticed something....

When I posted the info on NYC Housing info, I didn't realize that the template was going to essentially chop off the right half of the post. When I have time to tinker, I'll either figure out how to re-size it, or re-post it in a different format.

source for more resources

Here's a link to another of my blogs that has a lot of resources for tenants: http://realestatewars.blogspot.com/

Fwd: Housing NYC: Rents, Markets and Trends 2007 is Now Available at CityStore

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: My NYC.gov News <MyNYC@nyc.gov>
Date: Nov 19, 2007 2:23 PM
Subject: Housing NYC: Rents, Markets and Trends 2007 is Now Available at CityStore
To: emilyholiday@gmail.com

Just Published! Housing NYC: Rents, Markets and Trends 2007 This publication contains all six of the Rent Guidelines Board reports issued during 2007: Price Index of Operating Costs; Income and Expense Study; Income and Affordability Study; Housing Supply Report; Mortgage Survey and the Changes to the Rent Stabilized Housing Stock in NYC in 2006 study. In addition, the book contains the 2007-08 apartment, loft and hotel guidelines adopted by the Board, a glossary of rent regulation, comprehensive data from the most recent Housing and Vacancy Survey. &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Available exclusively at CityStore.         #10073 (book)       $28.00         #10074 (CD)           $28.00 As part of the City of New York, CityStore is the only place to offer you exclusive New York treasures such as the genuine taxi cab medallions, real NYC street signs, lucky NYPD horseshoes as well as the City Seal Collection. We also carry officially licensed NYPD, FDNY, DSNY and Parks merchandise, a unique collection of books, and lots more! THREE EASY WAYS TO SHOP: IN PERSON: Manhattan Municipal Building &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp One Centre Street &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp &nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp North Plaza ONLINE: NYC.gov/Citystore BY PHONE: 311 or (outside N.Y.C.) 212-NEW-YORK All proceeds from CityStore go to the City of New York's General Fund, which funds all government activities, including public safety, health services, parks maintenance, and other municipal services.  CityStore is operated by the Department of Citywide Administrative Services ( DCAS). This is the NYC.gov news you requested for: General News, Building news and CityStore Updates To unsubscribe please go to this link: https://www.nyc.gov/portal/signin.jsp Comment on this news service PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE!

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Check out my digital photography at http://picasaweb.google.com/emilyholiday/EmilyBrown; I also have a short slideshow video at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4527071836788208173

A Short-Term Reprieve - of sorts

I called the Marshal's Office this afternoon (again - the fellow answering the phone has started to recognize my voice) and he told me that they're NOT COMING THIS WEEK. I asked him if he was absolutely, positively certain of that and he assured me it was so. I wished him the best Thanksgiving ever.

I'm so relieved - one small ray of light in an otherwise horrible, hideous week. I'm way behind in getting stuff packed, and while I realize how lame that is, a lot of it has had to do with being totally and completely stressed to the point of numbness. Now at least I feel like a weight is off my back - I'm still planning on getting my stuff out either Thursday or Friday, but I also have an opportunity to take a run back through over the weekend if need be and retrieve any last, almost lost treasures. And I feel like the brain-fog has finally lifted and I can think straight again for the first time in days.

I want to thank everyone reading this who's offered various sorts of help, financial and otherwise. I also want to thank everyone who's listened sympathetically, offered moral support, and just generally made me feel like I'm not completely alone in this mess.

I've spoken to the Marshal's office to plead with them to give me until Friday before they come and lock me out. They're definitely NOT coming today or tomorrow, and their offices are closed Thursday and Friday, but there's always a chance that they'll show up on Wednesday... and I won't know until I call them back this afternoon around 4. Meanwhile, I have a couple of neighbors willing to let me park a couple of small boxes in corners for a couple of days so I can at least pull some of my stuff out of the place over the next few days....

I've considered talking to the landlord to ask whether they can give me until the end of the week to retrieve as much as I can; several friends have said that's probably a good idea, but the Marshal's office has told me that it's probably not a great idea unless I'm on good terms with the landlord (and obviously, I'm not, because I'm being evicted, DUH!) because it will only annoy the landlord more. On the other hand, I wonder whether I've actually got anything to lose by just asking... the worst they can say is NO.

I can also go to Housing Court to file for legal access to the apartment to retrieve my property, but I really feel that the priority today and tomorrow is to pack as quickly and efficiently as possible, and get as much out of the apartment before Wednesday as possible, and hope that they end up not scheduling me for Wednesday so that I can just put everything into storage on Thursday.

If anyone has any information they can offer on negotiating with the landlord and Marshal, please post something! I personally think it makes good sense to present my case in terms of business: if the landlord lets me get my stuff out myself, he won't have to hire a crew of people to pack my stuff up and pay for storage. But that's only my own non-legal opinion.

Write the Editor | Cohousing Association of the U.S.

Write the Editor Cohousing Association of the U.S.

still packing - and trying not to panic

The marshal's not due to lock me out until after Monday.... but my husband told me Friday night that he didn't have the $200 together right now to cover a storage space (after telling me he'd help me get my stuff into storage) and won't until either Wednesday or Thursday when his paycheck gets direct deposited in his bank account. I feel so sick at this point with worry it's about all I can do to keep  my head on straight while my son's with me for the weekend. I've asked friends for a loan until the end of the week, but of course the timing's terrible.

Of course, Monday morning I could try negotiating with the landlord and beg for a few more days until after Thanksgiving, but I'm not counting on that - and of course, the Marshal might not actually be able to get here until later on in the week, but this is all "what if".

And of course I still have a monumental amount of stuff to pack - but I've focused so far on packing my son's stuff, which my ex can take down to his place in a cab Sunday afternoon/evening, so we can at least save what's important to the kid. And now I just have to focus on grabbing the absolutely most essential stuff of mine that I can't do without. But I didn't get to bed until after 1 a.m., and it's 6 a.m. now, and I'm SOOO shaky, and I don't know what to do (I'm going to try to lie down for a little while longer until my son gets up).

I hate to ask, it's so embarrassing, but can anyone in the group loan me the $200 until the end of the week? I promise to pay it back promptly by or on the weekend. I'm going to continue asking around through my friend and acquaintances in the neighborhood as well, but it's such short notice... I can't help but believe that this "oversight" of my ex's is just part of him trying to see how much I can take before I crack (I won't crack, but I'll lose a lot of things I care about... I keep trying to tell myself that it's all just "things" and that life will go on afterwards, but it's still hard).

For anyone that hasn't already seen the rest of what I've posted here, I've set up a blog at http://homelesschronicle.blogspot.com.

Meanwhile, I hope you all have a terrific Thanksgiving!
Emily
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Check out my digital photography at http://picasaweb.google.com/emilyholiday/EmilyBrown; I also have a short slideshow video at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4527071836788208173

one of the most annoying things....

One of the things that bothers me the most about the situation I'm in is the attitude that some people I've dealt with over the past months while trying to avert a complete disaster; my soon-to-be-ex husband is the worst, but that's an automatic "given" because he's abusive and spent most of our marriage verbally abusing me and putting me down anyway - it's much more bothersome coming from other people who don't know much about me and are making snap judgements based on their personal prejudices: the thing I have issue with is that somehow I must "deserve" what I'm going through because I'm not trying hard enough.

 

I'm a college educated person with many, many years of work experience and quite a few skills. I started working part time when I was 16, and only stopped working when I had my son so that I could stay home to raise him, rather than having him raised by a nanny or day-care center. I made the decision WITH my husband; I don't have a problem with other women going back to work when their children are small, but I DO feel very strongly that one of the biggest and most overlooked points of the equal rights / womens' movement was that women were supposed to be able to make the CHOICE to either advance in their careers, or raise their children in responsible ways as they see fit, or find ways to do both if at all possible. I'm not a lazy person; although I've been a dedicated mother and enjoyed most of it, I've also hated the poverty throughout the marriage and after the separation that being out of the workforce mandated. But I always assumed that I'd be able to go back to work with relative ease once my son was in school - especially after he started participating in his school's after school program. I miss the independence of having my on income, every minute of every day. But staying home with my son was also a decision I made because my conscience and gut spoke clearly: since I had a child at 39, and was planning on having only one, I felt strongly that for his sake, he deserved to be raised by the people closest to him - his parents, primarily by me. What's the point of having a child if you're going to treat it like a pet that you can leave home while you go out every day to do something else, at least during those early years before the child is school-age? I'm not knocking other womens' choices on this; this is the choice I made for my family, and now I'm being kicked in the ass for having made that decision, over and over and over again. IT WAS A LEGITIMATE CHOICE, and I feel like I did the right thing, and I'm sick of being "punished" for it.

 

Being dependent on my husband has been loathesome for years. I want as much independence from him as possible, especially now that it's clear that he's going way out of his way to make sure I'm miserable, broke, and have nothing.

 

I've tried nearly everything I can think of to get work. I have to work on the books in order to prove I AM working, in order to satisfy social service agencies I may need loans from, and to ensure I have shared custody of my son. I don't leave the house without printed copies of my resume on hand and a flash drive with a copy of my resumes and writing samples on it, along with samples of my photography. I've joined Idealist, craigslist, Monster, and other online sources for employment. I'd rather work for a museum or cultural institution, but I'm willing to do retail work (especially this time of year)l.  My phone bill is ridiculously high because of all the faxes and calls I've been making searching for work. I've registered with temp agencies. Still, nothing seems to be working out, and my life is going down the toilet.

 

I'm not a bad person; half of my career and most of my personal humanities/arts projects have involved helping others.

 

I don't deserve what's happening to me.

 

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Check out my digital photography at http://picasaweb.google.com/emilyholiday/EmilyBrown; I also have a short slideshow video at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4527071836788208173

temporary solution #1a

My surly and generally uncooperative ex has grudgingly consented to let me stay at his place for a brief period of time after I leave my apartment. I must need to have my head examined - he's hell to live with, which is why we separated in the first place - but if I can  manage to keep the sojourn as brief as possible, it's an alternative to a refrigerator box under a bridge or the shelters, and it gives me access to a phone and a warm place to stay, and a spot to stash some of my valuables that I don't want stuck in storage. And I'll be able to see my son on a daily basis. At the moment, he's agreed to one week, but I'm going to have to find a way to either extend that, or find other lodging alternatives - but at least I get to spend Thanksgiving holiday with my son.
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Check out my digital photography at http://picasaweb.google.com/emilyholiday/EmilyBrown; I also have a short slideshow video at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4527071836788208173

more current situation

11/16/2007

On the 14th, I went to Housing Coiurt to file an Order to Show Cause; I'd gotten advice from a friendly lawyer who suggested that I remnd the court that the landlords were keeping my security deposit anyway, and it could theoretically be applied to the November rent - and that since the Marshal's Notice was mailed to me via regular mail (rather than being sent certified or pasted to the wall) it was improperly served. The Order to Show Cause was denied because I didn't have the November rent available; it's likely that I'd have been given the Order if I'd had the rent money together when I went in.

On the 15th, I had my HRA review for the emergency loan benefits I'd applied for in October in an attempt to get a "one shot deal". The one shot deal was denied for two reasons: I still don't have a job (and the one shot deal is essentially a loan), and they don't give emergency assistance when people are leaving their apartments anyway. In addition, I found out that the assistance they offer people moving into new apartments is based on some really bizarre calculations: they'll cover the first month's rent and security along with a broker's fee (and again, this is a loan) - and possibly moving expenses, but ONLY if as a single person your monthly income is $815 a month. $815 a month doesn't even cover rent in this city, let alone rent and living expenses - and the loan has to be repaid on top of that. So I don't see how it's possible for that equation to work on a practical level. The amount of income for a two person household is only slightly higher - I can't recall the exact amount, but it's barely $1000. The one good piece of advice I was given at the time was that I should withdraw the application for the emergency loan that day, because otherwise I'd be left with a pending application and that would prevent me from applying for other HRA assistance like food stamps for 45 days. I'll need the food stamps - and probably welfare as well, so I took care of withdrawing the application at that point.

Meanwhile, every other agency I've spoken to so far has told me that they can't help me unless I go to HRA first. My soon-to-be-ex won't let me stay with him temporarily - he's adamant about this - and my mother lives 3 hours away and isn't wild about the idea of me staying with her temporarily either (and I don't really want to be that far away from my son, either). I don't know where else to turn; it's frightening, and I'll probably end up using the shelter system for a while unless something else comes through in the meantime.

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Check out my digital photography at http://picasaweb.google.com/emilyholiday/EmilyBrown; I also have a short slideshow video at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4527071836788208173

Some background

This is one piece of the story. I'll be adding on more details as I take breaks from packing up my apartment.

Emily Brown
emilyholiday@gmail.com



11/12/07
I’ve just received an eviction notice dated 11/09/07 which gives me 6 days to vacate the premises. This creates an emergency situation for me because I’ve been out of work for quite a while, although I’ve been very actively looking for work for many months. I’m in the middle of a divorce; my husband and I have been separated for over a year. He was paying my rent on my current apartment until March of this year, but then stopped paying my rent with very little notice (basically, a week before the April rent was due, he told me he wouldn’t pay it). I fell into arrears with the rent because I don’t have any savings, have no friends or family who can help with expenses, and to make a long story short, I applied for public assistance over the summer. However, they lost the paperwork in late July, and in early August, I had to go to Housing Court. I wasn’t able to get a lawyer to help represent me, but was offered a stipulation agreement by the landlord and his lawyer that forgave the arrears on the rent and gave me until the end of October to remain in the apartment rent-free while I made arrangements to relocate, with the option of staying through to the end of November provided I paid the November rent of $1,248.89 by October 31. I still haven’t been able to find work, so I haven’t been able to pay the November rent, and although I’m in the middle of reapplying for public assistance, they won’t provide me with an emergency loan to cover the November rent because they’ll only provide emergency assistance if you haven’t already been essentially evicted. Meanwhile, I’m scrambling to get my property packed up as quickly as possible; I need the full month to finish getting everything packed up and make arrangements to either get it into storage or find another apartment. I’ve sent the landlord a fax telling him I’m seeking a loan to cover the month’s rent. I’ve been calling every social service agency I can find trying to find out if there’s anywhere I can get an emergency loan to cover this month’s rent as soon as possible, and I’m in a bind because I’ve left dozens of messages and haven’t been getting many responses.
Briefly, can you advise me what to do? This is a real emergency for me; I don’t want to lose my property, I’m living in dread of having the marshal show up at my door, and I’m doing everything I can think of to find work, get a loan, and pack simultaneously. I’m also terrified of becoming homeless. HRA has told me that they can help with the first month’s rent, security deposit and possibly moving expenses on a new apartment PROVIDED I find a new place, obtain a written estimate for these expenses, and have an income to cover subsequent rent payments after the first month.
I’m also concerned because my husband has temporary custody of our 8 year old son; I worry about the impact this will have on him, and on my ability to gain shared custody of him, which was what we’d planned to do.
Thanks for your assistance, and I look forward to hearing from you. I can be reached by phone at 718-832-2310, or by email at emilyholiday@gmail.com.
Sincerely,


Emily Brown

Intro

How I became homeless at 47 is a long story, but the briefest version possible is that it's a result of the fallout from a bad marriage turned into a bad divorce, and getting a royal screwing from my soon-to-be ex. The bureaucracy that's supposed to help people avoid homelessness is twisted, sick and illogical: THIERE IS NO SAFETY NET. I'll get into all the details on my experiences with both areas in another post, but meanwhile, this blog will chronicle what it's like to become homeless and deal with it from my point of view (at least as long as I have computer access and can post to the blog).

Emily

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Check out my digital photography at http://picasaweb.google.com/emilyholiday/EmilyBrown, and one of my blogs at http://hiremesoon.blogspot.com/;  I also have a short slideshow video at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4527071836788208173